The Armour We Wear: Why Successful People Still Struggle

We all wear armour, and most of us don't realise we're wearing it.

At work, at home and in our relationships, we develop ways of protecting ourselves from pressure, judgment, uncertainty and failure. The irony is that the same armour that helps us cope can also hold us back.

The truth is, our armour isn't who we are. It's who we became to protect who we are.

So, how quickly do you put on your armour each morning?

I'd like to say it's when we get to work, but that's not true for most of us. For many, the armour goes on before our feet even touch the floor.

We're already thinking about the email we need to answer, the meeting we're dreading or the difficult conversation we've been putting off. Before we've even had our first coffee, our minds are racing ahead to problems that haven't happened yet and answers we're afraid we might hear.

For some of us, the armour never really comes off.

Over the years, I've met people from all walks of life, business owners, leaders, parents and young adults. On the surface, many appear successful and in control. Yet beneath the armour, I often find someone who is exhausted from trying to be everything to everyone.

Someone who hears a quiet voice saying, "I'm not good enough." "Don't let anyone down." "It has to be perfect." "What if it all goes wrong?" "Keep going." "Don't let them see you struggle."

Those voices are often driven by fear and judgment. They convince us the armour is keeping us safe when, in reality, it often keeps us disconnected from ourselves and the people around us.

I call these inner voices Saboteurs. I think of them as survival strategies. They began with good intentions, trying to protect us, but over time they can become the very thing that limits our confidence, relationships and wellbeing.

The challenge is that we listen to these voices for so long that we begin to believe they are us.

They become our identity rather than our protection. We forget who we are beneath the armour.

For forty years, I didn't recognise my own armour until life forced me to stop. A life-changing health scare challenged everything I thought I knew about success, identity and what really mattered. During my recovery, I realised I'd spent years developing skills for work and being a partner and parent, yet very little time understanding myself.

That journey eventually led me to coaching and the importance of Mental Fitness. More importantly, it led me back to the person beneath the armour.

Today, I don't believe people need fixing. I believe they need remembering.

My work isn't about helping people become someone else. It's about helping them reconnect with who they already are beneath the armour.

All great coaches ask powerful questions. I'd like to leave you with three.

What armour am I wearing today?

Is it still protecting me, or is it holding me back?

And how would it feel if I no longer needed it?

Gordon Robinson, Founder, New Bucket Coaching